Bye Honey!

One of the hallmarks of getting older is the higher frequency of scenarios that you meet with a slow shake of the head. “the crap kids listen to these days”, “what are they feeding them”, “how is this okay?” and the eternal gem “when I was young…” So it is with some hesitancy that I post this blog, in fear of sounding like an old guy.

Having said that, there is certainly something to be said for “old-fashioned” values. Specifically when it comes to marriage. 

The scenario which brings me to this was a commercial that I saw on TV as I was sitting at the airport waiting for my flight. It was a commercial for some money-saving tip on travel or hotels, or some other nonsense. I had tuned it out for the most part because that’s what I do with commercials. But whatever the case, the last little interaction with the narrator was to mention that the money one saves with this tip could be put towards a romantic getaway, followed by the statement, “bye honey!” The meaning, of course, was that this lady wanted to go on this romantic getaway without her husband. Of course it was done lightheartedly (is that a word?) but the effect lingers with me. In this day and age we live in, marriage is being viewed more and more as an archaic institution, one that only works for a few people, especially older ones who apparently don’t know any better. This is a perspective which is being encouraged (or perhaps initiated) by countless different sources, from sitcoms to movies, to music, to blogs, to news articles, to commercials. It really bothers me. I am a Christian, and I firmly believe that the Creator’s original and unchanged design for us is for one man and one woman to be in a covenant relationship with each other, supporting, loving, and helping each other as they navigate life. But it’s not only that. It’s more basic than that even. It has made me examine why society in general has made such light of marriage. True, many marriages are inherently bad, and most don’t survive. There are many tragic situations of abuse and neglect,  as well as infidelity and betrayal. A lot of people argue from the perspective of saving themselves pain and bitterness and disappointment by not marrying. But it’s more basic than that even.

I think, deep down, almost everyone wants a fairytale. I think that most women really truly do want a man to sweep her off her feet, treat her like a queen, and provide a loving and wonderful life for her. Most men, deep down, want to be the knight in shining armor. There is an in-born instinct in all men to chase a beauty, to win her, and to provide for her. For many people, the details of the fairytale have been distorted by life’s harsh ways. Perhaps parents have gone through a divorce. Or perhaps they are being influenced by friends who have been through similar failings in life.  No matter what the case, even if the details of the tale have changed and been blurred, there is still deep down inside all of us a need to be a princess or a knight.

What saddens and angers me is not even the scenario laid out in this commercial. It is that this commercial is an indication of where our society is at. We are surrounded by influences and bombarded with the idea that the fairytale of marriage is long dead, and there is much to be found in the safety of selfishness. That’s really what it is when it all boils down to it. Everything from this commercial to the “what happens in Vegas” theme tells us that ultimately if you place someone else’s good ahead of your own, you will end up regretting it. Do what you like, because in the end, you’re the only person who you HAVE to live with. Go ahead and indulge yourself a little with this pretty little number because chances are your marriage isn’t going to last anyways. It’s honestly a really sad thing. I’m no theologian, but I suspect that the root of all sin is our own selfishness. All of the wrong things we do, say, and feel can be traced back to our own selfishness. Our entire world is a never-ending parade of feel-good. Look what/who you can have if you just cater to your own desires.

The Bible is chock full of exactly the opposite. God’s will for us is to deny self. The golden rule, which isn’t in the Bible anywhere, is treat others the way you want to be treated. Even this great little nugget has been twisted and distorted. Most people assume that the point of the golden rule is a formula. If I want to be treated nicely, then I should treat people nicely. I think that a more accurate rendering of this rule for today should be: treat others the best way you possibly can. Take their needs into consideration, and don’t factor your needs into it at all.

I don’t expect to see a drastic turnaround in society’s headlong rush into hedonism. We live in a fallen world, and it’s very clear that it will only get worse. But that does not stop me from living the way that I should, nor does it relieve me of the burden of leading my family that way. I’m eternally (really) grateful for a wonderful, loving, forgiving wife who is more committed to the Lord than she is to me, and is very committed to me. She is my help-meet, my biggest supporter, and my source of endless amazement. She is one of the main reasons I choose to put others ahead of myself. I have 5 more little reasons at home with her.  It is because of these beauties that I feel the emotion that I do, the disappointment and the frustration at the lighthearted approach to marriage. In this age of Kardashian Jersey Shore value systems and morals, I want to point my family towards something of eternal value, something that is not to be taken lightly. I value, love, and respect my wife because of who God has made her to be. Despite all my selfish choices, I want to show the world what a good marriage looks like. Including romantic getaways….

Seppuku - Death before Dishonor

Seppuku – the Samurai way. When a Samurai who is assigned to guard and protect his master fails at his task, and his master is killed, that samurai is dishonored, and must end his own life by the sword to regain his honor. This is done by disembowelment, aided quickly thereafter by a beheading from a fellow Samurai warrior. Pretty gruesome stuff. But there is an attraction to this lifestyle, because it places so much value on honor. Nowadays, the idea of death before dishonor has become a slogan for a t-shirt; something for everyone from hip-hop artists to athletes to shout and tweet to their followers. But if a situation really pressed them to it, would they choose death before dishonor? Would they really choose the Way of the Samurai?

Something about this lifestyle strikes a deep chord within me as well. I think that most people, myself included, are attracted to this theme, stylized as it has been by movies, etc. We’re attracted to it, or at least I am, because there is discipline. There is nobility that is not attained by birthright, but by extremely hard work and rigid self-discipline. It is a lifestyle which strives for and glorifies self-sacrifice, deeming seppuku as the highest honor one can achieve.

In today’s times, these are ideals which are decidedly NOT glorified. People are looking for instant gratification, and will spare no expense for ready-made entertainment. The code of the Samurai speaks not of a life enjoyed, but a series of hardships and struggles, all of which move one closer to that almost unattainable peak: honor.

Being known as Samurai in feudal Japan meant that there were never any questions asked as to motive or reasoning. If a samurai came to your house, you gave him your best, simply because He was worthy of honor. His armor, clothing, and weaponry were, like his title, earned by sweat, tears, and often much blood. One did not simply question or challenge a Samurai warrior. Village leaders, other nobility, even state governors kowtowed and gave way to Samurai.

The idea which is sitting heavily on me as I dwell on seppuku and the Samurai way is this: we are faced with a similar situation in our lives. If we claim to be followers of Christ, then we must heed the challenge offered us of dying to ourselves daily. Killing off the old man, and taking up the new. We are asked to commit an honor killing, in a sense, every day. 

This act of spiritual seppuku is every bit as real as in times past. It requires bloodshed. It requires death because that is the consequence of dishonor (sin). This spiritual honor killing is something that we in fact are powerless to commit, any more than we would not be able to draw a blade across our own flesh. It is, amazingly, something that has been accomplished through Christ’s death on the cross, and His incredible resurrection from the dead. His death nulls out our dishonor. We can access this amazing sacrifice daily, hourly, every minute by simply seeking. Through His death, we are given strength and grace to commit our own seppuku. Not just once to end your physical life, but every day to live out your eternal life. The honor of seppuku in old Japan was great.  Dying to ourselves and taking up Christ’s life places us in a position of high honor daily. The amazing difference is that, knowing we are unable to accomplish this ourselves, Christ did it for us and hands it to us freely. When we choose to follow the Way of the Christ, we commit ourselves to a lifestyle of grace and humility. We commit our honor killing, lay our old selves to rest, and come through the process with the armor, clothing and weaponry of a true warrior. Not earned, but given freely. It stands to reason, then, that we should chose to life in a manner worthy of this gift: extreme hard work and rigid self-discipline. Not because those things will earn us the gift in any way, but because they are a worthy response to the gift. The way of the Samurai is amazing. The Way of the Christ is Truth and Life Everlasting. Come with me, place your sword on your abdomen, and taste and see that the Lord is good.

Dislike Button

There are a lot of things, I'm realizing, that make me wish Facebook had a "dislike" button. I think it would be mean to use it, but there are things that I see that cause me to react, and, well, dislike. For example:


People's status updates that are regarding something of absolutely no significance. Like, should I shave my beard, or I'm thinking of wearing this new dress from blah blah blah. Or, OMG my coffee this morning from Starbucks didn't taste quite as good as it normally does. Basically any kind of whining on FB is grounds for a beatdown, honestly. 
It also bothers me when people who have hundreds and hundreds of friends in many different locations post status updates about something related only to their immediate area. Although, I do have a little more patience for that, because sometimes they're reacting to something immediate. So I get that. 
It REALLY bothers me when people post about some wonderful thing that they've experienced at an event somewhere, particularly as it relates to IHOP. I have to be honest. I'm really sick and tired of being made to feel like I'm somehow missing out on the greatest move of the Lord in our generation because I'm not flat on my face 10+ hours of every day at the prayer room. This is probably a topic for a whole other post, but it really has gotten under my skin to the extent where I see someone mention that they're going to IHOP, or the prayer room, or the One Thing conference, or any other such thing, and I automatically react negatively to it. Ok, yeah, that's another post. 
I also want a dislike button for status jumpers. For example, someone will post a status, friends will comment, and there will be a thread of comments. Then, 25 comments down, someone will jump in with a comment COMPLETELY unrelated to the entire thread. Grrrr...


Having said all this, I'm fairly confident that I'm guilty of pretty much all of these things on my own damn page. Hahahahaha! Suckerpunch.

Cussing.

1) I cuss

2) Sometimes a lot, but mostly for the reaction that I get from friends

3) I need to cuss less, because it has crept from entertaining usage into angry usage under my breath when I do something stupid at work or while I'm working on my car

4) Cussing feels good. Literally. Your mouth feels better after you've said a cuss word. I think it must release some endorphines or something. 

5) People who have so much vulgarity in their normal conversations really really bother me

6) I somehow find another Christian much more approachable and down-to-earth if I hear them cuss. It feels like they're a human just like me

7) People who cuss occasionally but don't do it angry don't bother me at all

8) I do think there are certain situations where you should not cuss at all. Ever. Like a courtroom or your grandparents church.

9) Most of the Christians that I know cuss occasionally, and most of them (like me) need to try to cuss less.

10) I don't think God holds our cussing over our heads any more than any other sin. I think He is constantly calling us to a place of more holiness, but I also think He has grace for our slipups, and our sometimes less-than-pristine sense of humor. 

11) I found this blog, which says all of this a LOT better than I just did:

http://modernreject.com/2010/11/what-the-christians-cussing/

12) PS - I am fluent at cussing in Hausa, Arabic, Spanish, Portuguese, Patois, and English. Talk about cultural sensitivity. Wait. That's another f&#king blog. 

Religion - Good, Bad, Ugly

Here's the scenario:

Guy 1 - "do you consider yourself a religious person?"

Guy 2 - "not at all. I am all about relationship, not religion. Religion is man trying to reach God by his own actions, relationship is God reaching out to man despite his actions."

Guy 1 - "cool. So is religion a bad thing, then?"

Guy 2 - "yes, very. Religion is what nailed Christ to the cross, and it has been at the heart of so many tragedies of war, from the crusades all the way up to current times." 

Guy 1 - "that's interesting, and seems true. But is there any positive aspects of religion? Or is it all negative?"

Yep. Religion. What a buzz word these days. Most Christian young people who are even slightly charismatic have an aversion to the word, and will vehemently defend their individual stance by citing their relationship with Christ, as though that relationship is devoid of religion. Another common term is the "religious spirit", which is another buzz-phrase.

My personal examination of this has led me to some informal definitions, which might help for the sake of clarity. Religion - a belief system to which an individual chooses to adhere. This system includes the observance of rituals, performance of rites, and (in most cases) the communal gathering of like-minded people. 

The bible defines religion in some very interesting ways. The most commonly quoted is the one found in James 1:27 - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. But we all know that is a very narrow definition of religion, and it should be viewed in it's context as the antithesis of worthless religion, stated in v26 - Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

Without getting into the wider theological debate of the biblical definition of religion, I want to personalize this. This is, after all, my blog; not some online teaching forum. 

For me personally, the religious spirit is something I identify as a highly legalistic system of attempts to manipulate or shape God. Often times during the band's ministry with Impact World Tour, we came up against a strong religious spirit in that we often met with resistance from more traditional churches who felt we didn't "fit the mold" of what a ministry should look like. They saw us with our tattoos, wild hair, black clothes with skulls all over it, and automatically assumed that we hadn't truly encountered God. We didn't look like Christians, we didn't sound like Christians musically, so therefore we probably aren't. Occasionally, some would come and talk to us, or even attend one of the events. After hearing our hearts for lost young people, they would do a complete 180 and become avid supporters. Most often, though, there was a recoiling. Proverbially crossing the street to avoid walking on the same side as us sort-of-thing. Frequent encounters of that sort have made me both weary and wary in my dealings with churches, and to an extent, I have thrown the baby out with the bathwater. 

Here's the crux of what I'm processing right now. The religious spirit, or anything at all which speaks to us of some enabling of our own in accessing the gift of God's grace, is dead wrong. It is sin most abhorrent. Anything that places our salvation in our own hands removes it from God's hands, and goes so far as to nullify Christ's sacrifice on the cross, and the victory He won when God the Father raised him from the dead. 

But I feel somehow that there is something very much missing in our walk with the Lord if we simply dismiss all aspects of traditionalism, ritual, etc. The person who looks at our band and reacts strongly must have reason for that reaction. Do they see our ministry and our music as a sort of compromise to the holiness of God? Do they view our dress as somehow disrespectful? While their perspectives may be wrong, there is an element of their reaction which speaks of a depth of belief. That, I think, is to be commended. In fact, if I am able to separate that character out of the rest of the strong emotions being sent my way, I should be challenged by it. I like to recognize that character for what it is, and be fed by it. That character stands in opposition to the notion that "Jesus is my homeboy." (that's a topic that I will unleash in another blog, perhaps.) 

I think that what many define as a religious spirit is something in a person's life which may have started from a very good, very honest, very humble standpoint. Perhaps along the way it has been subtly twisted by the enemy into a list of do's and don'ts. My prayer is that next time I encounter a religious spirit, I would be able to look past the offense given, and see the deep character that it started out as, mining that rich field for the diamonds that will challenge my character. 

DUDE!!!!

I just found out that there is a secret society called the Illuminati which is in charge of most, if not all, of the world's leaders, governmental structures, actors, and pop stars. I'm freaking out here. Holy cow. Burn your Lady Gaga CDs immediately. Oh yeah, and you may want to move somewhere where there's no commercial airliners flying anywhere close to you. Like maybe the Amazon, or the Sahara. Wait. Scratch that. They fly there too. We're screwed!!! 

So obviously I'm joking. And you probably know someone who knows someone like that. Conspiracy Theorists. One thing that has been more than a little disturbing to me is that recently I've noticed that several of my good friends have gotten caught up in this web of conspiracies. Now, let me say a couple things here. First, I'm not against being informed. I'm all for it. Second, I'm not against people researching and looking into suspicious stuff for themselves. As responsible citizens, Christians, heck even just as humans, we should be aware of what is around us, seen and unseen. 

But I've noticed something that has accompanied every single one of my friends as they've gotten sucked into this stuff, and that is a spirit of fear. Now, they are the first to ridicule that statement and say that they're not afraid, they're informed or enlightened. Meaning: because I don't believe the same things about these conspiracies, I'm an idiot stumbling around in the darkness. Sorry. I don't buy it. The common strain that I have seen in every single person I've ever conversed with on conspiracies is a subtle but frantic fear of impending doom. What bothers me about it is that most of these friends of mine are Christians. Believers in Christ the Creator. These are people who I have watched make decisions to follow a path that Christ sets out for them by the Holy Spirit every day. Yet they are caught up in conspiracy theories. I said before that I don't have a problem with conspiracy theories. True. But I DO have a problem when anything in your life becomes a focus to the point where you are living in a spirit of fear. Which is exactly what is happening with some of these people. This fear is consuming them. It is forcing them to spend large amounts of time focused on dark and sinister things that are (at best) debatable issues. My problem with that is this. As Christians, we are called by God to NOT live in a spirit of fear, but in an environment where Christ's perfect love, and His sacrifice on the cross, casts out fear. I don't mean to sound too harsh, but if we live in fear, we are not living in perfect love. 

In C.S. Lewis' book, the Screwtape Letters, one of the things that hit me the hardest was the idea that Uncle Wormwood was presenting to his nephew Screwtape that he should use any means necessary to get his "subject" to dwell on anything OTHER than what God had done for him and through him. One of the ideas that Wormwood said was most effective was getting the subject to focus on whatever plans the devil had for him personally, or for the country, or the government, or the military, etc, etc. You get the idea. Anything in our lives, conspiracy or not, which DETRACTS from what God has done for us leads us in a direction that is wrong. When we focus on what the enemy might or might not be doing SO much that it renders us ineffective regarding what God is doing, then I have a problem with that. 

Even if the Illuminati exists, even if the Vatican is covered in occult symbols (it's not; at least not the stuff created by Michaelangelo. I've been there - every single piece he ever created has the words "to the Glory of God" written, painted, or etched into them.), even if we've been under intense mind control from wicked one world governments who spray chemicals from purpose-altered commercial airlines, even if we are headed for a new world order which will bring anarchy and total system collapse, and the persecution and death of millions of Christians; why should ANY of those things be motivation on any level to live differently? 

What we all should fear more than anything in this world is the thing which takes our eyes off our Creator and Lover, even for the best intentions. 

2012

Alright. So this is Jan 1, 2012. The start of the last year of humankind. If you believe that sort of thing. I've held off from blogging up to this point because of several reasons. One, my thought process is pretty random. Two, a LOT of what is in my mind probably shouldn't be let out into a public forum. Three, sometimes it feels like I would have to force or manipulate to come up with something profound. But I'm going to do it, and if you find any of what I write humorous or profound, or downright asinine, then come along for the ride. 

This blog is probably going to be about a bunch of different stuff that I process, cool stuff I find online, the different things I'm involved in, etc. But it's not going to replace FB or anything like that. It also won't be very consistent. Subscribe if you want, that may be the best way to find out what I'm processing anyways. 

So here's to the new year. I'm hoping for good things this year, and I hope the same for you. After all, we've only got one year left. Haha!