Monday, February 13, 2012

Seriously?

I just received a newsletter from a close friend that is hoping to go on a missions trip, and is looking to raise support. While I am planning to support this person in their effort, the newsletter itself brought to the surface some discontent simmerings that I've been processing for a long time. 




The newsletter itself was a typical church youth group newsletter. It had the feel of a form letter that a youth pastor printed up, and emailed to his group with instructions to change their names to personalize it. It contained info on the specifics of what the group would be doing, as well as information on the country that the group was headed to. This is one of my bones of contention. In this day of the Information Age, I am well aware of a lot of different social, political, and economic scenarios in many different countries. As someone who travels and works in many of these same places, I try as much as possible to stay informed on current conditions. Many times, I have friends in those countries who are deeply affected by said conditions. I don't need a formfed newsletter to tell me what I should know about a country. It sounds to me like Mr. Youth Pastor copied the Wikipedia article about the country. Not very inspiring. Next, the letter is worded to boldly ask for me to "consider supporting" this young person. Here's the thing. Knowing this young person wants to go on a mission trip is very inspiring and exciting to me, because I have a heart for missions, and a heart for that young person. It comes from relation-ship with this person, and my desire to see them experience the world beyond their doorstep. So, asking for money in this newsletter is pointless. If I have relationship with this person, then I will support them with everything I can. If I don't, then I honestly have no interest at all in supporting them. 


Anyways, the newsletter goes on to detail how we can support this person in their endeavor. In fact, the largest chunk of the newsletter is spent on what we need to "prayerfully" do and how we can do it. This one goes so far as to challenge with specific amounts. "We need you to give a one-time gift of $250, or $100, or blah blah blah." Which is to say, "we want you to pray about what God would have you give, but we already know what He's going to say." 


Ok. I'll stop blasting this stupid letter and focus on what I think the real point is. While I was working with YWAM on a full-time basis, I had to raise my own support (which I was gloriously unsuccessful at...) to cover my monthly expenses as well as my traveling. I hated it, because it felt so corny. My parents were full-time missionaries for 18 years, and, through their home church in Canada, had a network of many people who had supported them. I spent the first couple years of my YWAM career working on a newsletter that I sent out quarterly to over 200 people. Of all of those newsletters and money spent on printing, stamps, etc, I had 4 people who supported me during my YWAM time. One of those were my folks. After a couple years of sending out fancy full color newsletters with return envelopes and prayer cards, I stopped. The funny thing is, the people who were supporting me kept on supporting me. So it caused me to stop and really take stock of the whole support thing. It dawned on me that the real key to support is relationship. If I know and love someone, and they express a heart to go and do something, of course I will support them. Automatically. Not only that, but I will go out of my way to tell others about what they're doing, so that other people can get stoked on it too. Ask me sometime about my friends Justin and Hella Song. Seriously. Priscilla and I support them because we love them, and we love what they're doing, not because they put together a great newsletter (which they did). 


You see, newsletters are for accounting firms and schools. They are designed to give certain information to certain people. Newsletters are impersonal and they don't speak of relationship. My little revelation in YWAM really helped me. While I traveled with YWAM, we mostly stayed in host homes. If it was a nice host home, where the host family was quite well off, the discussion often turned towards finding a way to get them on board as supporters. This never sat well with me, and I got tired of being made to feel like I was missing out by not dropping hints, leading conversations, and, well, manipulating our hosts into supporting us. There was one guy in particular whose monthly income from supporters was over $4000. He was unbelievably manipulative, and used every opportunity he could to make people feel they were almost sinning to not support him and his family. To make matters worse, he worked a job outside of YWAM to augment what his supporters brought in. What interested me about this guy in particular was his approach with supporters. He gained supporters quite rapidly, but lost them just as quickly. He told me once that if you focused on gaining more supporters each month than you lost, you were ahead of the game. It felt like a sales pitch. There was nothing there that spoke of relationship. Only dollar signs. It still disgusts me to this day. 


Social media is another aspect to this whole thing. Facebook and Twitter gives us the chance to keep up on a daily basis (if we choose) with the ones we have some level of relationship with. All of the people who we support as missionaries are good close friends of our on Facebook. This has eliminated the need for a newsletter almost completely. It caters to relationship. You don't have to sit and write a letter, take it to the post office, and figure out postage to Brasil. You can hop online and often times you can chat live with your friend even though they're halfway across the planet. Awesome!


So - my advice to the young person headed out on a mission trip. Instead of writing a newsletter, TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS. If they're able to help out, they'll be stoked to do so. If they can't, they'll tell you. And when they say they will pray for you, it is genuine. If you are facing needs, financial or otherwise, then communicate that to your friends. If it needs to be a letter, or an email, or whatever, then write it from a perspective of relationship. Write it as if you were sitting in a coffeeshop talking face to face with the person. Leave out all the BS. If someone wants to know more about the country you're going to, and what their median income is, they will ask. They don't need to know all the crap. They don't need a sales pitch. They need (and want) to hear your heart. That's it. Be yourself, talk to the people who love you, and let God do what He is best at. 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Drink Hot Sake. Trust me.

So today was my 39th birthday. Most of the time when my birthday rolls around it's on Superbowl Sunday, or close enough to it that we combine parties. This time around was mid-week, so I thought I'd capture my very full day here for posterity's sake. 


Woke up at 6:45 to get ready to go play basketball. For most of you, you won't remember how much I used to play ball. While I was still living in Canada back in the 90s, I played ball as much as I could. Literally. I was never amazing, but pretty good and consistent. When I moved to the States, I got so busy with music that I didn't have much time to play any more. The occasional game with Island Breeze boys, just quick short shoot-arounds. I missed it. Fast forward to now. Tyler Simpson tells me he's got a game every Wednesday morning with some friends. I'm in. I hadn't bought a pair of basketball shoes in over 12 years until 2 weeks ago. He picks me up, we head over, and we play from 8-10am.


 Man, it felt great. I was dog-tired, and I was easily the worst player on the court, but we ran a lot, I handled the ball well, passed well, and shot poorly. I was expecting a poorly grade on everything, honestly, accompanied by throwing up my lung on the bench. It was a good set of games, and it was a great feeling. I'm looking forward to getting more and more game time, perhaps even trying to find another game on a different day. We'll see. Baby steps. 


After that, I got home and rolled around on the floor with my 5 kids. Such a gift, even just that. I got to play Lego Pirates of the Caribbean with Trevan for a while, and we even got True Pirate on one level. Very difficult to do. Few people can. 













Cilla and I decided to take the kids to Thai House for lunch, which was (as always) amazing. Cahira, our brave adventurer and food connoisseur, decided on Tom Yum seafood soup. Not too hot, but spicy. She rocks my world. The other 4 kids had chicken satay, which they loved as well. Cilla had Panang Curry with chicken, and I had Massaman Curry. We both ordered ours hot. Even Vanden had a blast, munching down his satay and rice. The staff there were so super nice, and the food has consistently been amazing, after 10+ times there.


After lunch, we headed over to Freedom Park, just by the Grandview Courthouse. Cilla dropped the 4 older kids and I off there, and took Vanden home to nap. We played for a while on the swings, then walked over to Buel McDonald's house and hung out with him while he played with his 140lb English Mastiff, Angel. Great dog. Cilla and Vanden showed up, and we all took off for home. Did a bit of cleaning up, and at 6:30 Joe showed up to babysit for us. He's a member of our family, and lived with us for almost 2 years as well, so the kids all know and love him so much. We gave the kiddos some mac & cheese, and headed out the door for my birthday dinner. 


We had purchased a couple of groupons to a place called Edokko, a Japanese restaurant and sushi garden. What a great place!! We love Edokko, and have loved it for about 3 years now.

We had Black Dragon Roll, Geisha Roll, Spicy Yellowtail Roll, Spicy Tuna Roll, and Spicy Salmon Roll. Great, great sushi. At least for the midwest. 










Also, we ordered an appetizer of Kobe beef. Neither Cilla or I had ever had it before. My life literally changed tonight. I've never eaten anything in my life quite as incredible as Kobe beef. Unbelief.
Anyways, we also split a large hot sake. IMPORTANT NOTE - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO EAT ANY FOOD OF JAPANESE ORIGIN WITHOUT AN ORDER OF HOT SAKE. Just sayin. Sushi, Hibachi, Kobe, whatever. Drink Hot Sake. Trust me, you'll thank me. 












After dinner we headed over to Starbucks on Stateline, because (inexplicably) Dunn Bros on Holmes was closed (FAIL).  Sat in big leather comfy chairs and just drank coffee and talked. Intelligent adult conversation with no interruptions and no diapers. Amazing. 
Then we headed back home, about 9:30 or 10. Joe had put all the kids to bed except Cahira, which is impossible to do before midnight anyways, so I gave him a ride home. 


My legs are sore from b-ball, my stomach is full from a plethora of amazing food, and my heart is full from one of the best birthdays in my memory. Of course, my memory is due to start declining next year. Maybe that's why I'm feeling to write all this down. Haha!